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  • Writer's pictureNicole Langman

I Haven’t Been Honest

I haven’t been honest

Or maybe a better way to say it is that I haven’t been true to myself. And worse, I haven’t been completely true to the message I know God has placed on my heart.

But, and here’s the trouble, it’s not a nice message. And I don’t know how to make it nice.

Rejection is gross. It’s awful. No one wants to talk about it, and we certainly don’t want to experience it.

But we all do, don’t we?

We all experience small rejections every day.

And most of us have suffered huge rejections at one point or another in our lives.

People let us down, walk away and betray us. Relationships fall apart and sometimes we don’t understand why.

If you know my story, you know that several years ago my husband of almost 20 years decided to leave the marriage.

His walking away catapulted me into an up close and personal relationship with rejection.

Don’t worry - it was a blessing disguised as a trauma.

But, at the time the rejection threatened to steal my self esteem, my sense of purpose, my thoughts about my worth and my identity.

And it bombarded me with shame messages that sought to make me small.

Maybe you know what I’m talking about here - being unchosen by your spouse is it’s own special kind of pain.

And being a rejection researcher is no ones preferred past time.

But there I was, and maybe you too, face down in the Valley of Rejection. Field research at its finest.

I had a choice to make:

1. accept the messages of rejection- that I was unloveable, unworthy, unwanted -


2. fix my eyes on the One Who calls me chosen, adored, and wanted.

Rejection is a liar.

It feeds us poisonous messages about our worth and causes us to question what God says about us.

But no human rejection can change the truth. One person or two people or any amount of people don’t get the final say about who you are.

My message is simple - Because we are wanted by the King of kings, human rejection holds no power.

Our identity does not lie in who accepts or rejects us. Our value or worth is not dependent on the opinion of others.

You are not rejectable because the King of kings calls you His very own.

The CEO of everything, hand picked you. He Created you and then Chose you. And He keeps choosing you every single second of every single day.

Locate your identity on that truth. Lean hard on that reality.

You’re chosen. Not rejectable.

You’re wanted. Not abandoned.

You’re deeply loved. Not unloveable.

You are celebrated and pursued. Not disposable and unseen.

So, here I am trying to be true to the message I’ve been given.

I’m a rejection researcher. And that excruciating field research led me to an intimate understanding of the most remarkable and life giving truth of all time - Jesus loves me and HE chooses me.

Jesus loves you and HE chooses you.

And nothing anyone says or does changes our birthright, our God-given identity, or His incredible (willing to die for) love for us.

So, I’d like to take back what I said earlier - this isn’t such a bad message after all, is it? This message of being chosen and seen by Jesus - it’s a message of acceptance and identity. It’s a message that stands up to the lies of rejection and levels the story of unworthiness.

And at every turn, this message is a reminder that rejection has no power when we hold it up to the Light.

May you know these truths today - and be reminded that you are anything but rejectable.

Love, Nicole

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