As a therapist I have a deep interest in why people do what they do. I find it fascinating to learn about what motivates people towards change, what drives them to learn more, strive for greatness, and build themselves. And then of course, I’m also interested in why people stop doing things they love, stop loving people they thought they could never live without, and why people don’t at times do things that are healthy or good for them. Even when they know they should, or they really want to.
I have done that before – not done something I knew I should. And of course, many times, I have done things I knew I shouldn’t. I imagine we can all look back on our lives and see these things, things we have done or haven’t done in spite of knowing the best course of action.
But why??
In my interviews with people and some deep self-reflection, I have learned that Fear is what interrupts most people’s attempts for change. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that Fear has been sabotaging people’s best intentions, biggest dreams, and hearts desires for centuries.
Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of being rejected. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being different. Fear of disappointment. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of change.
Fear will always show us the possible failures and worst case scenarios. Fear will never tell us the good news story or the happy endings. It always, and I mean always, seeks to get in the way of what we want.
Fear is the enemy of Change. Focusing on Fear will throw a wrench in your plan.
I recommend you engage in Anti-Fear practices. Anti-Fear practices require us to keep an eye on the prize, stay the course and ultimately, remember why we started.
Try these steps towards achieving your goals and making the changes you desire:
• Set goals that get you excited to start and keep moving.
• Remember why you started and write it down. I made an album on my phone of quotes and pictures that I could look at regularly to keep my Why in mind.
• Involve others in your plans to change – accountability helps keep us on track
• Decide on being true to your desire for change - talk positively to yourself as you pursue new excellence.
Change is possible. New adventures and amazing possibilities await us if we can face the fear, and keep moving towards our goals.